IT'S A CHOICE.

I've been in a crummy place for the last week. Had some yucky muck stirring through my head and I spent way more time than I care to admit trying to sort it all out and place it back in nice, freshly fluffed bits. Lots of soul searching, digging deep, evaluating what kind of woman it is that I want to be.

After some tears and restless nights, I'm finally finding peace with those thorns that were sticking me.
I have a clearer vision, a shifted and refocused mind, and it's starting to feel good again. Minus the fact that I woke up this morning with a cold. Boo.

You see, it's a choice we have. To be happy. To be sad. Or mad. To feel limited based upon this and that.  I might think my life is pretty crazy some days, but then I think long and hard about what it is I want.  I want to be here, even if it means I feel stuck some days. Because for all the days I feel like I want to run out the back door screaming, I have that many days times ten that are beautiful and joy filled.

Most days I find myself tangled in the things I want to do, have to do and know I should do. I don't always find my balance. I don't know if I ever will. But I know that it's my choice to wake up happy, to give the day a can do attitude, and to make the most of it. And those days that are filled with the things I want to do, the things I have to and should do come easily.  I can find joy in them.

While decorating our Christmas tree last weekend, I stumbled upon a piece of paper Nick and I had scratched some notes upon and tucked away in a Christmas tote. It was titled "Things to do different next Christmas". A year later, we agree one hundred and ten percent with everything written on that list. It hugely focuses on putting our own little family first, and giving our kids the gift of us, our time, our attention, our love. That's not always easy to do. But I have been focusing really hard on that this holiday season, and it's feeling really good. It's making my heart very happy.

We're saying no to some traditions, things that we felt obligated to do because that's just what's done. Instead, we're laying the foundation for our own family, doing what feels good and right.

We've spent the last few weekends going on hikes, visiting the Children's Museum, doing family movie nights, making treats together. And in between, there has been lots of snuggling, playing, story reading, rocking babies to bed, because it feels good. And makes us happy.

My friend Becky shared this quote the other day, and it struck right at home with me.

"Its not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you are not."

Wham. That pretty much sums up the muck I was swimming in last week.

Only I can choose who I want to be. What legacy I want to leave behind. And at the root of it all, I want to be awesome for myself. And my kids. And my husband.

It's my choice to be happy.

The world is mine, and it is what I make it. And I am choosing to make it good.

xo.

*Photos taken at the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum this weekend. Gorgeous, right?

WHATEVER ON THE NEWS!

I mentioned it briefly in an earlier post, but while I was at Craft Weekend, a local news team came and filmed footage of us crafting in action. Check it out!

http://www.kake.com/home/headlines/Hundreds-On-Waiting-List-For-Craft-Weekend-In-Newton.html#.UKzxh2eteDI.facebook

I was nervous about being interviewed, so I pretty much dodged the camera man for the few hours he was there, but you can still catch glimpses of me in the background. I'm wearing a black and gray stripped dress :) How fun!

MORE CRAFT WEEKEND.

Over a week later, I think I'm finally coming down from my high of Craft Weekend. It's been fun to share it with you, and see it though the eyes of the other ladies who were there with me. Meg posted about it on her blog today, with lots of fabulous pics. Take a look, if you haven't already. click here.

Picking up from here, I was most excited for Saturday...the big trip to the barn for thrifting and antiquing!

Kimberlee started our day off right with these drool worthy cinnamon rolls. Seriously, I am still craving them!

Our first stop was to an antique store, where I bee lined it right to the quilts. I tend to get overwhelmed in places like this, getting side tracked and completely loosing focus of what it was I came there for. So prior to, I made a small list of things I've been searching for, so I could get right to it and not leave empty handed. I didn't find it all, but I did find many treasures, of course including a few that weren't on my list :)

Next we were off down the road to the infamous barn.

 

It was crazy windy that day, so windy that I truly feared a piece of flapping metal was going to fly off the barn at any given second and take someone out. But it didn't, and we all survived :)

 



This was the back of Kimberlee's van when we were finished. I Instagramed it and one of my friend's husbands thought it was my van, and that all those goodies were coming home to MN. Oh good gracious. Could you imagine?

This was my actual pile.

Saturday evening was back to crafting. We were shown five crafts, then had the rest of night to work away. I was soo tired all I wanted to do was sleep, but somehow I managed to pull off another 1:30am bedtime.

Sunday morning was ours to be lazy. Sleep in, eat another delicious breakfast, finish up any crafts, snap more pictures, and ended with a photo shoot with Meg.

There was so much creativity and uniqueness everywhere...I did my best to bottle it up and take it with me. Warning: photo overload.

Noon rolled around and it was time to say goodbye to all the fabulous people that I didn't nearly have enough time with.

Becky

Meg

I've said it many times in the last week, but I'll say it again. Thank you so much Meg and Kimberlee for such an amazing weekend. You two have an awesome thing going, and I'm so glad I got to share in it. And of course, thanks to my awesome husband, who without him taking over my roll as homemaker, this weekend wouldn't have been possible :)

Happy Thanksgiving week to you! Hope it's delicious!

WHATEVER CRAFT WEEKEND: DAY ONE.

I can't believe this trip has come and gone. It was a dream come true. It's so surreal to think that I've been to the Craft Weekend. It filled me up to the brim, and then some.

I've read Meg's blog for a long time now. Not sure exactly how long, two years maybe? I've always been drawn to her laid back realness (is that a word?). She tells it like it is. I read her words and I feel like she's talking to me. She doesn't sugar coat anything, she shares the good and the not as good. She's always happy and it just rubs off on others. Obviously.

So back sometime last fall, I was talking with my friend,Tiffany, who also enjoys Meg's blog. She told me she put her name in for the craft weekend lottery, and I was like really?! I had drooled over it since the beginning, but never even thought to add my name to the list. Awesome stuff like that just doesn't happen to me. But I listened to how excited Tiffany was about it, so I thought why not give it a try too? I told her that if I ever got picked I would bring her with me, and she better do the same if her name was ever called.

Well lo and behold, we had just gotten back from a weekend at Tiffany's cabin in August, and I came home to find an email from THE Craft Weekend, saying I was chosen! I just about fell over, I was so excited! I called Tiffany right away and probably scared the pants off her as I was rambling so fast and probably didn't make any sense. Several spots were offered to me, so I randomly and frantically gave shout outs to various friends to see who was going to go on this crazy fun adventure with me. In the end, it was myself, Tiffany, and our friend Bethany who hopped aboard.

***
Friday morning we headed out bright and early in my sweet new van. I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty excited to finally have an opportunity to drive it outside of town and get familiar with it. It rode like a dream, and got amazing gas mileage to boot.

We drove for six hours, stopped near Kansas City for lunch and fuel, then pushed on through the last three hours and arrived in Kansas ahead of schedule. It was WINDY, but that didn't stop us from having some fun.

We were given strict instructions to not arrive at the craft house early, so we did a drive by or two before doing a little thrifting on Main Street.

We were greeted warmly by Kimberlee, and let me just say she is the sweetest thing ever. She's a MN gal at heart, so how could we not love her?

We were led upstairs, where I met Meg. I wanted to faint when she gave me a hug. I wasn't nervous, but all the sudden I was. Like holy hot chocolate, it is really her! And I am here, in her house! I wanted to fall over again when I saw that we got to stay in the "yellow" room! Those painted floors are seriously adorable.

We threw our bags down, grabbed our cameras, and went off to explore the house and meet the other gals. I seriously didn't know where to turn or look first. Everywhere I looked there was something else to ogle over!

 

 

Each person I met was as sweet as the next, and it was so great to do a little mingling over dinner. Afterwards, we jumped right in to making the famous ruffled aprons, which is no easy feat, let me tell you. It took us all night, and then some. Oh yes, there was also a film crew there. A film crew! The local news station was doing a story on the Craft Weekend, and wanted footage of the crafters in action. I'm sure Meg will share the link when it airs.

I was so busy working on my apron, that I didn't stop to take pics of it taking shape, but I did manage to snag these ones from my friend Becky, who was also there. (Long story, more on that later!)

Meg!

 

Come about midnight, Meg and Kimberlee rescued us from our pins and needles, and whisked us away to the local donut shop.

 



I was sooo tired that for half a second I thought about staying back and crawling into bed instead, but then I realized how ridiculous that was and joined in the fun :)

I finally crashed around 2:30am. It was a looong day. But so awesome.

You've got to put yourself out there, but dreams really do come true.

More to come...